Names and Ghosts

I don’t really see ghosts or haunting the traditional way I suppose. No life like forms appearing out of thin air, vanishing into a spooky house. I don’t even really believe in ghosts. Spirits, maybe. But not the traditional “haunting” spectre that must be expunged with an old priest and a young priest. That being said, I often find objects misplaced in my room, and have woken up to a figure at the edge of my bed- always my right side of my bed, no idea why. It’s never frightening at the time, although afterwards I always feel a bit spooked, but at the time it’s reassuring, calming even. I don’t recollect having told many people about this, because quite simply, I don’t think I thought of it as odd when I was younger. Not that it happened frequently, mind you.

My mother claims she’s seen it. We were in Winnipeg. My cousin had been in a major car accident, killing the other passenger, and leaving him paralyzed with a single digit chance of ever walking again. We had travelled to visit him in the hospital and were staying at a hotel where the only view from the window was a thrift shop. She says she woke up in the middle of the night, looked over at me, and saw a figure hovering protectively over me. I could ask her for more details, if you like.

I’ll give a little bit of background about myself, which may or may not be relevant to you, but I find has an interesting connection.

My middle name, Retsilisitsoe, is Sesotho which translates into “we are consoled”. The other translation for it is “the child that came after the child that died”. I was given this name because my mother had a series of miscarriages prior to my birth and was told numerous times to stop trying to have children. I was born with a double crown, which in that culture is a sign that I was supposed to be twins.

Now, there are practices in other parts of the world to specifically join the spirits together in order for there only to be one baby born, and avoid twins. Twins are often seen as bad luck, you see. A double crown, within this context, indicates that somehow I’ve ended up with two souls.

So, you can put the pieces together, if you like. The idea of having two souls, possibly a twin (or at least multiple siblings that didn’t make it) combined with a protective spirit of some kind makes for an interesting examination. For me, the haunting part is the idea of my name. That somehow, I’m supposed to be the consolation and make up for “the child that died before”.